The end of The Walking Dead television series is nigh. It has had a good run but the production companies involved have decided to stop whilst the going is good and call it a day.
Skybound, AMC Studios and Valhalla Entertainment released the following joint statement:
“The series has been going for many years, growing in popularity as time goes on. However, we recognise that the interest peaked at the start of Season 7 and when we put out yet another episode of a secondary character going away on a little side-quest whilst Rick, Michonne and Daryl had another week off, the fan reaction was positively, erm, negative.
“As such, we will be digressing from the comic somewhat and when the show comes back for the four-part miniseries in October 2017, we will have an ending that is going to really satisfy the fans of the show. We don’t want to ruin the plot, but suffice to say that we have sacked 80% of the cast and the result is that the remaining characters have focus and time to get rid of the pesky bad guys in the first episode before finding a cure for the walkers in the second. The final shot will be of a paradise-like world where Rick, Michonne, Carl, Daryl, Rick’s baby daughter (whatever her name is), Sasha, Carol, Morgan and Maggie are sat eating a roast dinner and cake, before Rick breaks the fourth wall and says “This is how you do it J.J.”.
We are aware that this might go against the carefully crafted world we have worked so hard to create, with our survivors finding scraps of hope in a hopeless world, never giving up in one of the most unexpectedly profound explorations of human nature and survival in an apocalyptic scenario. We are also aware that the have been bringing it to life with top-level deliveries of our watertight scripts for almost a decade. However, we decided instead to listen to the small number of bloggers and chat room frequenters that haven’t even got the patience to sit through the total sequences without fast-forwarding, let alone pay attention for an entire ten series, and call it quits now lest they stop illegally downloading our art from Pirate Bay.”
There you have it! I’m as shocked as you are. Glad we can finally see the end in sight.
Note: Super sleuth Oliver Morris can have most of the credit for this article!
This morning all previous attendees of any Secret Cinema events were unexpectedly sent an email providing limited details on their next fully secret event.
Launching on Sunday 9th April and running until Friday 14th April, the email promised that they would be “presenting a yet unreleased secret film in a secret location”.
“Exploring vivid, enigmatic landscapes ripe with intrigue and coded messages, you will become part of a world that blossoms like a delicate flower to reveal a clandestine, unforgettable experience”.
You may be intrigued by the idea, but if you want to know the likely films that it could be, read on.
The facts
The email states that the event is strictly for people over the age of 18, which indicates that the film has been rated with an 18 certificate by the BBFC (British Board of Film Classification).
We can also deduce that the film is probably going to be released in a short window between late April and the end of June. The film must be ready for viewing by the general public and it wouldn’t benefit from the extra press this will generate if its release date is too far in the future.
There is also a lot of allusions to plant life, flowers, growth and blossoming, which indicates that this is a strong theme in the film.
The quote “You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming” is a quote from Pablo Neruda and is possibly a red herring, but could be a clue to the film’s country of origin. My hunch is the former.
The final clue provided in the email is the visual title, which features a sketched eye pouring into a waterfall, set amidst a backdrop of a Japanese-style sun that is reminiscent of their flag. It looks Dali-esque, but is certainly very much something that makes the viewers think of the country Japan.
So what films could it be?
This leaves not many option for films. Here are the best guesses.
The Handmaiden
Park Chan-wook’s latest film is an erotic mystery horror that lit up the end-of-year lists for many of the in-the-know critics last year. It is based on the Sarah Waters book Fingersmith, but is set in South Korea under Japanese colonial rule rather than Victorian Britain. The story revolves around a young woman who has been raised as a thief and working as a handmaiden undercover in a rich heiress’s house.
This might seem like quite a leftfield choice for Secret Cinema to tackle, but it certainly fits the bill. It’s essentially set in Japan and has already received a BBFC classification of 18.
It is set for general release on 14th April, which is the day the Secret Cinema run finishes.
Park Chan-wook’s previous work includes two films from 2013 – Stoker and Snowpiercer – along with 2009’s Thirst and 2003’s Oldboy. His films are certainly beautiful works of art and their quality belies the fact his wider work is largely unknown in the west. But perhaps that is the perfect reason for Secret Cinema to base a whole event around his new release.
Alien: Covenant
The only other feasible alternative to The Handmaiden in my eyes is Alien: Covenant. Set for release in May 2017, the film concerns a new crew visiting an uncharted planet that looks on arrival to be full of blooming flowers and plantlife – initially appearing to be a paradise planet.
It is a direct sequel to Prometheus, which itself was subject to a Secret Cinema event in June 2012 immediately prior to its release.
This sequel is set for general release on 19th May 2017, which would put it in the frame for being tackled.
It is probably going to receive a 15 rating (the trailers were rated 15), but that doesn’t mean the night can be so horrifically planned that they don’t want to admit people younger than 18. Plus there will probably be alcohol for sale, which would also need an age restriction.
Certainly the spending power of 20th Century Fox would lend itself to a last-minute decision to be subject to a huge Secret Cinema event, with increased cost as a result of running it in parallel with the Moulin Rouge event across London. Would the Secret Cinema team put so much pressue on themselves to run two concurrently unless they were set to make a lot of money on the back of it?
Conclusion
Honestly, it could be either of the above. Or neither. The beauty is in the guessing and the not knowing.
Either way, the nights will be a wonderful treat for fans of cinema and well worth the money.
12 Angry Men, 3:10 to Yuma and The Bridge on the River Kwai may be more fondly American films from 1957, but Lesley Selander’s Civil War drama isn’t without its merits, even if the production values and a slightly generic premise make it just short of enjoyable.
The story is set in 1861 at the titular Fort Laramie in Wyoming, an outpost at which a cavalry of northern and southern USA soldiers await a trade with Native Americans of gold as part of a peace deal. However, just before the deal is completed, the American Civil War breaks out. At this point, the inner rivalries within the outpost threaten to bubble over and cause a mini civil war to rival that breaking out throughout the country.
There is a decent cast assembled to play out the film. John Dehner portrays Maj. Seth Bradner, a southerner in charge of the outpost, whilst the two factions are led by Confederate Sgt. Darrach (Robert Keys) and Federal Sgt. Serrell (Bill Phillips). Northern Captain Jamie Tenslip (Gregg Palmer) is in love with the major’s daughter Melissa (Frances Helm). There’s enough complexity to make for an engrossing storyline that should bring with it excitement.
Where it falls down is that the cast seem like they’re going through the motions. They’re delivering their lines, but for some reason the performances are devoid of any emotion. The film should really be much longer to flesh out the various storylines to bring them to life, but I’m not convinced the actors had it in them. The result is that even at 70 minutes the film feels like it’s dragging.
Harry Dean Stanton makes an early appearance in the film as a character called Rinty. The only thing less convincing than his acting is his fake harmonica playing.
However, the worst performance in the film is from Don Gordon as a Sioux scout. I spent ten minutes wondering why there was a Mexican mixed up in a civil war issue. Fortunately, a Native American accent wasn’t required when he delivered brilliant performances in the likes of The Towering Inferno, Bullitt and Papillon.
It’s not a brilliant film, it’s not the best film about the subject matter and it’s not top of many of the actor’s greatest performances. It’s fine. Just an average western film from a time when the cinema market was flooded with them.
Revolt at Fort Lamarie can be bought on DVD now. Or you can simply watch the entire film online using the link above.
Cinema, etc. 