So I’ve just got back from an amazing trip to Japan. We were lucky enough to be there during cherry blossom season. So, on a slightly overcast afternoon at Ueno Park in Tokyo I enjoyed the festivities and spent some time under the sakura writing haiku poems about Japanese films.
The first one was about Godzilla:
This giant monster
Is a thinly-veiled reference
To nuclear bombs
UPDATE (07/11/2016): For no reason at all I’ve had a sudden influx of people finding this page after searching for “Ewok Adventure Blu-ray” or similar. Just in case you hadn’t realised… This was an April Fools joke. There is no scheduled HD re-release of these films. You can buy the films on DVD here.
There has been an exciting announcement this morning from Walt Disney Pictures. Following the increased interest in Star Wars following the release of Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, the first sign that the Walt Disney company are going to mine the Star Wars back catalogue has seen the light of day.
Set for release on 1st August 2016, digitally restored versions of both Ewok Adventure films – Caravan of Courage and Battle for Endor – will be released in a specially-commissioned 4K transfer. What’s more – any fans who are lucky enough to have tickets to the Star Wars Celebration on 15-17 July 2016 will be able to pick up a limited edition numbered steelbook of the release. How limited these will be is yet to be announced, though they are set to be one of the hottest items at the event.
It is thought that the unexpected announcement is a way to test the waters for future 4K transfers of other Star Wars releases. Of course, the dream release for most fans is the cinematic releases of the original trilogy, fully restored with no Lucas interference. Perhaps this will see the light of day at a later date, though we won’t hold our breath. This will be an excellent stop-gap release.
There are several bonus features set for inclusion on a third disc of the set, with more yet to be announced. The features listed are:
Pre-orders are not yet live for this release.
Female heroine.
Finn and Poe gave us bromance.
Spoilt brat kills his dad.
A trilogy ends.
It’s the last good Star Wars film
For thirty-three years.
Looking For A Home is a short film that was written, produced and directed by Hayao Miyazaki for Studio Ghibli. It is shown exclusively at the Studio Ghibli Museum in Mitaka, Tokyo, Japan [1].
The film follows a girl as she sets out from her home on a trip away from her busy city dwelling to the calmer countryside, through forests and into a tiny cottage she discovers along the way. At each point she thanks the aspects of nature she experiences (a fish, the trees, etc.) with an apple. Everything is represented by a unique human-voiced sound which are also written out on the screen to humorous effect.
This is a perfect short film to experience at the Studio Ghibli Museum for non-Japanese speakers, because the whole thing is very visual and the audio can be enjoyed without any understanding of Japanese. It is a sweet film aimed at children but, as with most of the output from Studio Ghibli, it is equally enjoyable for adults too.
[1] The Ghibli Museum has a small cinema called The Saturn Theatre. In this, they show one of nine short films for visitors on each day. Each visitor gets one ticket to the short film selected for that day so there is no chance of seeing more than one per visit. It is complete pot luck what you’ll see on your visit.
In learning Japanese, I’ve come across a few phrases that are so similar to their English counterparts they sound like someone doing an offensive impression of someone from Japan without any knowledge of the language.
Whilst they sound quite humorous at first, they are so easy to learn for native English-speakers that they should be seen as a quick win for anyone trying to learn the language.
Here we go!
1. Gēmusentā – Game centre
Yep! That’s the phrase to describe a video game arcade. If you’re anything like me this is a key phrase for when you go to Japan as there are so many to experience in Tokyo.
2. Kurejittokādo – Credit card
A really useful phrase for shops and cafés. Even if you can’t construct “Do you take credit cards?” as a full sentence (“Kurejittokādo wa tsukae masu ka?”), holding your card and saying the English phrase with an “o” sound at the end is a start.
3. Merii Kurisumasu – Merry Christmas
Might only be useful for you for about three days in a year, but say it confidently despite the fact it sounds like you don’t know what you’re really saying.
4. Kukkī – Cookie
I mean, it’s not even different.
5. Sandoitchi – Sandwich
That’s not far off either. Just put a quick “oh” in the middle and an “ee” sound at the end and you’ve got a great accompanying snack for your kukkī.
6. Remonēdo – Lemonade
One thing that people in the west do when trying to impersonate Japanese speech in a derogatory manner is to swap all the “l” letters for “r” sounds and vice versa. This is because neither letter exists in Japanese. However, if you’re partial for lemonade then you’re in luck because that’s exactly how you say it. Just try not to look embarrassed when you ask for “Remonēdo kudasai”.
7. Kyasshu disupensa – Cash dispenser
Or you could have “e-ti-emu”. I’m not joking. In many ways, having two phrases in your arsenal for one thing is borderline fluent.
8. Hoteru – Hotel
An easy and very useful one to remember!
9. Aisu kurīmu – Ice cream
I love this one and can’t wait to use it next time I fancy some ice cream.
10. Amerikandoggu – American dog (or hot dog)
Not quite perfect translation on this one as people in the west don’t tend to order an “American dog”. Then again, I imagine “Japanese noodles” are just “noodles” in central Tokyo.
11. Koin rokkā – Coin locker
A little like number six, this does sound a bit like a westerner poking fun at the way Japanese people speak. Similarly “koin randorī” will be a useful phrase if you’re backpacking and you need to wash your clothes.
There you have it. In “tsumari” (another real one), if you find yourself in Japan around the 25th December and find yourself hungry in a Tokyo video game arcade but without any cash, then I have just sorted you out big time. You’re welcome.
Set in 8th century China during the Tang Dynasty, the film revolves around assassin Nie Yinniang (Shu Qi) who has been ordered to murder a variety of government officials by her master Jiaxin (Fang-Yi Sheu). After taking mercy on those she has been ordered to kill, she is given a much greater task to take down Ti’an Jian (Chang Chen), her cousin to whom she was once betrothed and now a military governor in the Weibo district.
The story is, apparently, an essential tale in wuxia folklore, unique in that it featured a female heroine. It is clear why this is such an enduring tale in Chinese history, especially given its importance as an early example of women’s literature. In this sense it is perfect for a motion picture adaptation.
It would be a great success but for the director losing touch with the flow of the movie. In a recent Variety interview, director Hou Hsiao-hsien said “It’s not easy for people to grasp the film fully the first time around, but you can’t wait for the audience. I can’t help but make films the way I do.” I can’t subscribe to this kind of thinking. In my opinion, it is not outside a director’s job to challenge his or her audience, but this shouldn’t be at the deliberate expense of telling a succinct story.
At times, the film feels like an extended advertisement for the tourist board of the Hubei Province in which it was filmed. There are some truly beautiful shots in there that instantly transported me to thoughts of traditional Chinese paintings. It is a triumph of cinematography at its absolute best, courtesy of Mark Lee Ping Bin.
The way the camera lingers on some of the actors and actresses long after they’ve finished what they are saying is also striking and feels deliberately daring. For this reason it should be seen as a success, at least in terms of artistic beauty.
However, the overarching feeling that the film itself didn’t really have much substance can’t be excused. It’s tricky. The source material is well-loved and recognisable and could hardly have been altered drastically, but it really needed it to achieve greatness. Most notably, the lead character Nie Yinniang, the eponymous assassin, doesn’t actually kill anyone. True, this is the whole point of the film and is central to the plot, but there’s something wholly unsatisfying about having a continuous string of disappointing battles where people get their clothes sliced a little or a couple of hairs trimmed, especially when each shot looks so stunning.
It’s almost a wonderful experience, but falls just short.
If you live outside the UK, it’s unlikely you have ever heard of Grimsby before. A middle-sized coastal town in East Lincolnshire, Grimsby was once famed for its fishing industry, though it is now in post-industrial decline. There are plenty of towns just like Grimsby dotted around the UK, though none of them have a huge blockbuster movie named after them.
This tale involves two brothers.Sebastian (Mark Strong) is a top class secret agent who we get introduced to during an exilerating first-person opening scene. All action, no messing – a man set up as a lone wolf. In contrast, his older brother Nobby (Sacha Baren-Cohen) is living in a run-down area of Grimsby with his girlfriend Dawn (Rebel Wilson) and countless children whose names include Skeletor and Django Unchained. Fostered and split up at birth, it is true that they have lived entirely different lives. An incident at a charity event led by the suspicious Rhonda George (Penelope Cruz) brings them back together but also leads to a manhunt for Sebastian. The brothers must team up and go on the run to prove his innocence and save the world.
Critical response for this film has been mixed to negative, and I’d braced myself for the worst after an unrewarding time watching The Dictator. However, this was a unexpectedly rewarding experience.
The storyline is fairly generic but well executed, serving as a solid platform for some massively hilarious scenes involving the two leads. Strong makes for a surprisingly effective comedic straight man, when it would have been much easier to play the part for laughs.
Cohen yet again proves to have chameleonic abilities to perform as a character far removed from his real-life persona. Whilst the more disgusting scenes may be the most memorable (three spoiler-free words: poison, elephants, fireworks), the film does have some satirical messages it does well to sneak in. True, the climactic battle speech he delivers is a little too obvious, but elsewhere there’s a lot going on that shows it has more than just a tea-bagging gag to offer.
It is definitely going to feel dated due to the overuse of jokes relevant only to 2016, possibly only to the UK, but for now it’s worth a punt.
An unexpectedly good film with lots of laughs.
Dad’s Army is one of the best-regarded sitcoms to ever come out of Britain. A film would always have two almost certain outcomes: making a lot of money and not living up to the public’s fond memories of the original series. In this sense Oliver Parker’s 2016 effort doesn’t disappoint.
This film adaptation stars Toby Jones as Captain Mainwaring, the leader of a Home Guard [1] platoon the fictional Walmington-on-Sea in England during World War II. His platoon consists of Sergeant Wilson (Bill Nighy), Lance Corporal Jones (Tom Courtenay), Private Godferey (Michael Gambon), Private Pike (Blake Harrison), Private Walker (Daniel Mays) and Private Frazer (Bill Paterson). They are being visited by glamorous journalist Rose Winters (Catherine Zeta Jones), there to report on the Home Guard.
The authenticity of this film is, to the untrained eye, fantastic. The colour washes and costumes give it the feel that you genuinely are watching a Home Guard operation in 1944. There is a clear attention to detail that has gone into this and the film is much better for it.
The plot, generally, is enjoyable. It is pitched at the right level between the series and what is expected of a big-budget film. It puts the Home Guard into a potentially larger plot that is at the centre of the war efforts.
Where this film majorly falls down is the humour, or lack thereof. The writing was on the wall with the trailer, which felt a little flat. Unfortunately, most of the best material was featured in one or more of the trailers, and between these moments the humour was lightly sprinkled in a way that may bring a smile to the audience members’ faces but never succeeds in delivering a belly laugh. In this sense it has been a huge failure in comparison to the original series.
The actors do a wonderful job impersonating the original cast members, to scarily uncanny levels. This is perhaps the only time when all these stars will grace the screen together and it is a real letdown that the material they’ve been served is so underwhelming.
A massive disappointment.
[1] During World War II, those unable to serve on the front line provided a second line of defence on British home soil. Platoons were generally made up of those too old or too young to serve in battles, individuals with injuries or illnesses that prevented them from being on the front line and those with professional occupation that were exempt from joining the front line war effort. It was a significant operation, consisting of around 1.5m volunteers.
It’s back and it’s hungry for flesh!!
Secret Cinema have announced their next big event. It’s a good one! Read on for more details.
What is Secret Cinema?
Secret Cinema is a company that specialises in totally immersive cinema experiences. You spend an evening totally absorbed in surroundings typical of the film on which the night is based.
There are two types of event Secret Cinema organises. Both are highly similar but with subtle differences.
Secret Cinema: Tell No One (not this event)
The first is the kind they made their names doing – completely secret smaller events for films many would consider to be cult classics. Nobody knows the film until they show up, and from then on anything can happen.
When they tackled The Shawshank Redemption, for example, people were snarled at by an angry police officer who informed them they were all convicts. He then walked them, single-file, through a busy shopping centre to their transport to a local high-security prison. It’s all good-spirited and great fun for those with an interest in surprises and adventure. The recent Tell No One event falls into this category (and is still going on so the name of the film won’t be revealed).
Secret Cinema Presents (this event)
The second type tend to be larger in scale and the film is announced well in advance. This is the category last year’s Empire Strikes Back event falls into, along with the previous year’s Back to the Future. Both were excellently received and left people wanting more large-scale events.
The latter type is better for those unfamiliar with more obscure films who want to know that they’ll enjoy the night before they attend and pay for the tickets.
Either way, whatever they do the nights are always highly immersive experiences and well worth the money. They have carved out a massive area of the market that most people didn’t even think existed.
What’s the next event?
This next event in their calendar is Danny Boyle’s zombie survival horror 28 Days Later. It is a Secret Cinema Presents night, so the film is common knowledge. No surprises this time around!
What’s the film like?
28 Days Later revolutionised the popularity of zombie films as a genre. It was a shift in terms of the technology used. Boyle used Canon XL1 digital video cameras to allow the manoeuvrability to shoot the desolate London scenes, but they had a knock-on effect that gave the film a sort of CCTV-type feeling to it, like it was recovered footage. It starts with the lead character Jim (Cillian Murphy in his breakthrough role) waking up from a coma in a hospital with no knowledge of how he got there.
We learn what’s happening as he does, finding fellow survivors along the way and hoping to reach some kind of freedom. It captured the imagination of cinema-goers during its original release, instantly becoming a hit in both the UK and USA.
What can we expect?
It would be easy to jump to the conclusion that it is really just any excuse to do a zombie-themed event. Anyone who has experience of Secret Cinema will know that this is very unlikely.
The event will, inevitably, involve hoards of zombies. One way that the film kept us gripped is the constant use of impending terror. It was the first film to use running zombies, so expect these to be present at the event too. Better take your running shoes!
I imagine it will incorporate the military as a key element. In the film they weren’t necessarily to be trusted, and there’s a fantastic scene in a fortified mansion that could utilise the open-air quite well if that’s the path they choose to go down.
Whether or not we’ll be killing zombies or just avoiding them remains to be seen. If we are doing that, it will need to be reasonably safe or there could be some serious injuries. No head-shots people!
Clothing is always a key part of the events and advice on outfits will be sent out in advance. It’s possible that it will be one of the easiest Secret Cinema events to dress for. The film is set in the present day (or ten years ago at least) and presumably we won’t be asked to dress up as zombies. I’d imagine it will be a case of wearing anything for once rather than trying to get hold of any specific costumes. No desperate searches for tan and black scarves required this time! Perhaps a medical outfit will be required for some people.
It will be a great experience to witness a modern cult classic on a massive screen with an enthusiastic audience.
How do I buy tickets?
Tickets are on sale for the event right now and are selling fast. Head to the official webpage for more details.
Cinema, etc. 