Transformers: Age of Extinction (Michael Bay, 2014)

So then. Transformers 4. The fourth in the rebooted franchise. The one everyone has been dreading. Can it really be as disappointing as we hope it isn’t?

Well, the answer lies in your expectations. The storyline is interchangeable with any of the others. The autobots and deceptacons are having a battle about something and the humans are involved too, because it’s set in a conveniently placed city in USA. They’re back here in hiding because… there was a reason. I think the humans wanted to kill them. Some of them did. But they wanted to protect the other ones. But… OOH EXPLOSION!

The main difference is that Shea LeBouf was busy perfecting his English accent for Nymphomaniac so has been replaced by Mark Wahlerg. This changes the dynamic, I guess, as he is protecting his daughter rather than his girlfriend. Her Irish boyfriend was introduced about 30 minutes in, but he felt like an afterthought. To be fair, Kelsey Grammer and Stanley Tucci are both in fine form as the bad guys.

At the end of the film, I felt surprisingly satisfied. The film didn’t tax me, the storyline was pretty forgettable, but I like the series and they have made some massive improvements, my favourite of which was to do with the CGI elements.

Of course, a Transformers film is not a Transformers film without good CGI and that is where the last two fell down. This time around, we can actually see the fights and the transformations. We can follow the action. The transformers are identifiable and unique. We are rooting for one over another. They don’t lose a heap of screws, metal and oil every time they take a step. The camera is much less shaky. It was, well, quite good to be honest.

Another good thing was that the human characters, in general, were likeable. You rooted for the good guys and hated the bad guys. They were clearly defined as they should be in a summer action film. Mainly the bad guys wore all-black, which helped someone with a low IQ like myself.

The film also managed to strike a good balance between taking itself seriously and being tongue-in-cheek. You can’t be too serious when you’re talking to an alien robot, and I felt they got this spot on.

I used to like the toys and cartoon as a child, but I wasn’t a die-hard fan. Indeed, from memory there weren’t that many die-hard fans, but people vaguely remembered having an Optimus Prime action figure and laid claim to being Transformarians (I made that up) when the reboot was originally announced. For this one, there was a lot of pre-release chat about the dinobots. I honestly don’t believe anyone remembers them vividly. They’re hardly in the film, appearing maybe 90 minutes into the action. They didn’t change much but might help fund film five.

So, take your pick. It’s a big, dumb, action film. The men are meat heads, the women are attractive. There are car chases, explosions, robots fighting. The storyline is flimsy. It’s great.

Now let me get back to drinking my Bud Light whilst I purchase a Chevrolet will you?

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