We need to talk about loading.

I’ve got a huge problem with my gaming habits, which means I’m almost never playing games.

I recently bought Street Fighter 6. After three nights of ‘gaming’, I can confirm that the training mode is quite enjoyable. I can also confirm I’m losing interest.

Back in 1993, when I was happily playing the original Street Fighter II Turbo on the SNES, my life was admittedly much simpler than it is now. I’d imagine that working out how far away Dhalsim could be from Ryu before his punches landed was fairly high on my priority list. I was a master of those 12 characters, and I had to be. My brother was a machine with Ryu and I had to be on my game to avoid embarrassment on a daily basis.

Let me talk about my experience not as an 8 year old, but as a 38 year old.

First night. I open the case up, turn on the Xbox Series X and insert the disc. Pretty excited. Will they have any knowing references to that original loading sequence from back in the day? Will the characters all be there? Will I be able to 100-hand slap like the old days?

Oh. I need to download an update. A big update. But it’s 10:30pm and I’ve only got 45 minutes. Okay, no worries. I’ll install and get some time in before bed time. I’ll watch that Beckham doc in the meantime.

11:15pm comes and goes and the game update still isn’t complete. I’ll need to come back tomorrow.

Tomorrow becomes today. A remarkable second free night in a row is here and I’m still very excited about playing Street Fighter 6, one of the best-reviewed games of the year. I load the game and the updates are fully downloaded. Good sign.

After a few intro sequences (no harking back to the glory days sadly), I’m told I need to login to Capcom using my Capcom ID. Strange requirement but I’m informed I can’t proceed with the game unless I agree. Sure. So I try to create an account, but apparently I already created an account at some point. So, I reset my password, but after 5 attempts it won’t link to my Microsoft account, which means I can’t access all of the game modes. It’s quite a fun experience so far – boy do I love entering email addresses using a gaming controller. Maybe this is the game? Turning grown men green with rage and seeing if they can spontaneously produce electricity.

So, I opt for the workaround and manage to get through to a reduced version of the game. However, instead of being able to jump in, I first have to complete a training exercise. My muscle memory is great, and I find it all a breeze. It’s good to know the grey matter is working.

And then, 15 minutes later, it’s bed time.

In 1993, after 2 hours of gaming I’d already kicked Bison’s ass so hard that the next Bison wannabee was gonna feel it. In 2023 I’m getting my ass kicked by loading screens, password resets and lethargy.

Current score: 3/10. Maybe if I get to play it sometime soon I’ll bump that up. Or maybe there will be another software update.